Money in Her Voice
HomeResourcesFor every sessionWhen someone breaks down

For the guide and for everyone

When someone
breaks down.

A short accompaniment protocol. It is for giving human, practical, non-intrusive support when a participant is badly affected. It is not therapy, not diagnosis and not an interrogation.

The priority is her safety, her dignity, her choice, and her connection to real support.

Everyone has it, not only the guide. A woman who knows a protocol exists trusts more, not less.

Crying is not a crisis

Getting emotional or going quiet does not by itself mean there is a crisis. In an MQHD circle that is precisely what is being asked for: that what weighs comes out. What to watch is whether the distress is increasing, or whether it is stopping her from taking part, orienting herself or deciding.

The first sentence

«I can see this has stirred a lot up. Do you want to stay here, take a break, or step out for a moment?»

The four steps

  1. 01
    Accompany

    Speak slowly. Find some privacy. Ask what she prefers. Do not ask for explanations.

  2. 02
    Steady

    Listen. Allow silence. Water. Fewer stimuli. Breathing or grounding only if it helps her.

  3. 03
    Decide

    Once she is steadier: go back in, take longer, leave, or call someone?

  4. 04
    Connect

    Help her do what she decided: someone she trusts, safe transport, a service, a professional.

What to say and what to avoid

Sentences that help

  • «I'm here with you. You don't have to explain anything right now.»
  • «What would help you in this moment?»
  • «Do you want to sit here or would you rather somewhere quieter?»
  • «Do you want us to call someone?»
  • «If it helps, we can notice your feet on the floor and slow the breathing down.»

What to avoid

  • Pressing her to talk, or asking for details.
  • Interrogating, diagnosing or interpreting.
  • «Calm down», «it's not that bad», or promising that everything will be fine.
  • Touching or hugging without permission.
  • Giving financial or personal advice in the middle of high distress.
  • Making her go back to the group, or making her leave.
  • Leaving her alone if she is very disoriented or there is immediate risk.

Three of those — «it's not that bad», rescuing and advising — are three of the four failures of the method. Here they are not a listening mistake: they are a risk.

Red line

If any of these appear, accompaniment stops and help is activated:

  • Intent to harm herself, or someone else.
  • Severe disorientation, barely responding, or unable to place herself.
  • Very unpredictable behaviour, or marked loss of control.
  • Loss of consciousness, or a possible medical emergency.
  • Strong chest pain, or severe difficulty breathing.

Do not leave her alone, prioritise safety and activate the local emergency service. Do not assume a significant physical symptom is «just anxiety».

If violence or danger at home comes up

Listen. Validate. Ask about her immediate safety. Connect her to a specialised service. Do not investigate and do not ask for unnecessary details.

The four contacts

Each circle writes its own before the first session and carries them printed. Without them this protocol does not work.

Closing

Confirm what she is going to do, how she will get home safely, and whether she wants someone to check on her afterwards. Share information only as she agreed, unless there is a legal duty of protection or an emergency.

Where it comes from

A practical adaptation for MQHD circles drawing on: WHO (2011), Psychological First Aid: Guide for Field Workers; WHO (2014), Psychological First Aid: Facilitator's Manual; IFRC (2025), International First Aid, Resuscitation and Education Guidelines; NCTSN, Psychological First Aid: Core Actions; and SAMHSA, Trauma-Informed Approaches and Programs.